Ways Romance Change After Having Kids.

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7.
BEFORE KIDS: Husband surprises you by handing you a bouquet of flowers.
AFTER KIDS: Husband surprises you by handing you a baby with a dirty diaper.

6.
BEFORE: Dinner at an Italian bistro, followed by a movie at the theater.
AFTER: Leftovers, followed by half a Pay-Per-View movie before falling asleep.

5.
BEFORE: Silk pajamas at bedtime.
AFTER: Whatever doesn’t have spit-up, juice or kids’ toothpaste on it.

4.
BEFORE: A picnic while watching an orchestra concert at the park.
AFTER: A handful of goldfish crackers while pushing the kids on the swings at the park.

3.
BEFORE: Hours of uninterrupted conversation about your lives.
AFTER: Thirty seconds of discussion about your days before a kid interjects, “MOM!  HE HIT MY BUTT WITH A LIGHTSABER!”

2.
BEFORE: A spur-of-the-moment trip to Cabo for the weekend.
AFTER: A spur-of-the-moment…nothing.  Even a date at the Olive Garden requires a week of planning and hunting down a babysitter.

1.
BEFORE: Holding hands down the street.
AFTER: Screaming at the kids, “HOLD OUR HANDS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET!”

Next time your kid whines about the lightsaber injury inflicted by his sibling, be sure to turn to your spouse and smile, “Happy Romance Awareness Month!”