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10 things no one ever warns you about being pregnant
When you find out you’re pregnant, you’re flooded with both information and emotion overload. Everyone from the teller at the bank to the stylist at the salon feels the need to enrich you with their tales of maternity. And while most of them mean well, many of the fantasies they’re filling your impressionable mind with are complete fibs.
There are truly some incredible things that happen with women’s bodies during pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean that it comes without its woes. It would have been nice if people would warn us of the impending weirdness that was about to go down while they were fabricating the wonderment of baking that little bun.
Since they don’t, we will! Here are 10 lies they tell us about pregnancy…
1. You’re going to glow.
We’re not sure about all that glowing talk, but you’ll definitely glisten with sweat while fighting off a heat stroke in the middle of winter. Is it hot in here?
2. You’ll never feel more like a woman.
Um, what exactly does this even mean? Does feeling like a woman mean that we’re going to be 50 shades of crazy? Because the emotional torment of hormonal instability does a serious number on our ability to remain mellow.
3. Your skin is going to be flawless.
Maybe for some people this is true, but for others our skin reverts to a pubescent state of pizza face. Also, there’s this thing called the mask of pregnancy that no one bothers to warn us about. Yeah, thanks for that.
4. You’re going to have the most amazing hair.
Yes, our locks get a nice little boost of shine and volume while pregnant, and it’s awesome. However, those fickle hormones that gifted us with an influx of princess hair on our heads also made their way to the rest of our body. No, we’re not hippies with poor hygiene; it’s just that our hair grows faster than politicians change their minds. Dollar Shave Club, anyone?
5. Your boobs will be incredible.
First of all, not everyone is super enthused about supporting a supple rack. Second, we’d be much happier with our regular ole boobs if that meant that they didn’t ache every time someone so much as even glanced in their general direction. And third, having the temporary perkiness of Pam Anderson’s bountiful bust line is no consolation prize for what happens to them after we have our babies. Also, thanks for the warning about them potentially leaking towards the end of our pregnancy. That would have been nice to know before we went to brunch in a gray shirt.